ADullAche

It seems Iowa wants to enlarge the idea of miles per gallon. And as gas prices go up every day, (can someone tell me why I paid a nickel more for gas today than I did yesterday, and it’s the same gas because no one delivered new, ‘higher priced’ gas to the gas station), it’s a solid idea.

The state is proposing to put mileage stickers on food.

No, you’re not going to be able to pull your cart next to someone in line and brag that your cantaloupe gets better mileage than their turkey sausage. But you will be able to tell from just how far away your food has come. So if you buy local tomatoes from a farm thirty miles from the grocery story, you should see some savings over those that come from New Zealand.

I like this idea, and I don’t think it should stop with just fruit and cars – what about people?

Wouldn’t you like to see just how much experience a politician really has? Throw a mileage sticker on them. That way we can see if they’re not broken in, are running well, or they need a major overhaul.

How about finding a date…or a mate? We all lie, and even though these sexist barriers are slowly breaking down, men still want to appear experienced and women chaste. Ladies, if you come across Mr. Perfect, but he’s got very low mileage – and with the busy schedules we all have these days – maybe the fine tuning you’re going to have to do in the sack may not be worth the effort.

The one place this won’t work in Hollywood…high mileage there is a one way ticket to basic cable.

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