ADullAche

Idiocy is on the run, and even though the country is in horrible shape thanks to George the Dull, I thought I could have a little hope.

Then I saw the results from the Pennsylvania primary and remembered a black guy is in the lead for the Democratic nomination for president. Doesn’t Barack know this is America and we don’t like black folk. And if we forgot for a minute and started thinking we might like black people, Hillary is going to take every opportunity to remind us we really don’t.

Okay, that’s not strictly true – the part about Hillary is – the other part about America not liking black people isn’t. We have nothing against them, we just like them to know their place. They can be entertainers, athletes, mayors of cities white people won’t live in, we’re even letting them be quarterbacks these days, but president…

As long as ‘they’ knew their place, we could all pretend that half the country still isn’t bitter (there’s that word again) over the outcome of the Civil War, and imagine there really is liberty and justice for all. We all profess we want racial equality—okay, not all. Strom Thurmond’s been dead for five years and some folks in South Carolina are still voting for him. And let’s not forget his disciple and wannabe Imperial Wizard, Trent Lott, who said America would be a better place if Thurmond had been elected president.

We’re America, we just can’t help ourselves—we’re a bunch of racist crackers.

The polls say a vast majority of people polled have no problem with a black president…until they go to their polling place and somehow the lever for the black guy doesn’t get pulled. That’s the kind of anonymous racism we like around these parts. You say one thing in public, but when the curtain is drawn and no one’s looking…you don’t think those pointy white hoods are just a fashion statement do you?

So we’re crackers. Hath not a Cracker eyes. Hath not a Cracker hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; and don’t forget a truck with the stars and bars in the back window and Skynnard on endless replay coming from the crappy in-dash stereo.

We just need to accept who we are and keep our unbroken string of white guys in charge of things. After all, white guys have gotten us this far, and look around, things could not be better.

And don’t get me started on that lesbian who wants to be in charge…

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