ADullAche

The political memory is quite the elegant organ and always has been. It’s unlikely there’s been a single politician in history – world history – that hasn’t done something they’d rather forget.

However, the Bush Administration has made not remembering into an art form – or a virulent disease.

The latest  presentation of this Executive epidemic is found below:

AP June 29, 2008 – DUJIANGYAN, China – Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice praised China’s post-quake recovery efforts during a visit to the disaster zone on Sunday, saying that it contrasted with Myanmar’s reluctance to allow in aid after a cyclone devastated the country.

Yes, even classical pianist and third rate Sec of State, Condi Rice, has fallen victim. (Although her behavior over the last seven years shows she waved off every attempt at inoculation.) Here’s a bit more of her praise for China:

“I can see that the Chinese government and officials have been attentive,” Rice told reporters after the tour. “I can see how much effort has gone into the recovery. But with a disaster of this magnitude, no one can do it alone…”I can see that the Chinese government and officials have been attentive,” Rice told reporters after the tour. “I can see how much effort has gone into the recovery. But with a disaster of this magnitude, no one can do it alone.”

Now, the only question I have is, where was she when Katrina devastated New Orleans?

Did I see what I saw?

Did I see North Korea voluntarily destroy one of their nuclear cooling towers?

Did I hear what I heard?

Not one shot fired?

No one invaded any sovereign nations who didn’t invade us?

No bunker busters?

No fortified Humvees?

Not even a single water boarding approved at the highest levels?

What kind of foreign policy is that?

This is the George Bush Administration.

The George W. Bush Administration, not to be confused with that sushi pukin’, “read my lips” talkin’ other George Bush – George H. W. But to his credit, he also invaded Iraq, but wimped out and did nothing when the wall fell and all of eastern Europe was ripe for the taking.

I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

That’s right, I’m calling you out Dubya – you’re a candy ass.

You used diplomacy. We have warehouses full of nukes and you’re chatting-up other countries.

When did we start making deals with dictators?

What are we, France!?

We didn’t elect you to talk. Hell, after almost eight years, we all know you can’t.

Where’s the man of action, the guy who didn’t think about what he said or did, he just said and did it? Where’s that flight suit? That’s what we want; not some pansy who cuts deals with hard core Commies.

What’s next, have Hezbollah to the White House for lunch?

We’ll become an international laughing stock. We’ll have a president who people think can actually be reasonable. He’s given up golf and now he’s talking to other countries. Is that the image you really want for the leader of the free world?

This just wont do.

So man up, mama’s boy, and take out Iran before you go…at least you’ll save some of your legacy.

So, honest, but somewhat confused former fighter jock and presidential wanna-be, John McCain wants America to be energy independent by 2025.

A bold step.

However, before going further, let’s go over his most recent suggestions for relief from high gas prices: off-shore drilling and $300 million for a battery. Neither a particularly good or original idea, but at least one idea better than his new BFF, Dubya.

However, after a few days of pimping these half-assed plans he admitted to one and all that neither would have an immediate impact on gas prices, but we’d all feel better because of the “psychological” impact of such forward thinking.

I feel better already.

And now to the jewel in the McCain energy plan crown – energy independence by 2025.

History – you know, that thing that’s going to be quite unkind to George Bush and friends – can give us a bit of insight into this idea.

Back in the late ‘70’s Jimmy Carter presided over the country during our first big oil trouble. Gas lines, rising prices, enraged public; all the stuff Santayana said would happen again because we didn’t learn from it the first time. As we muddled through Carter, (a good man in a job way over his head), proposed energy independence by the year 2000. He had extensive plans for solar and renewable energy sources, as well as conservation.

When Ronald Regan and the “Republican Revolution” found it’s way into power, they gutted the Carter energy plan, and every other idea about conserving or using something other than oil. Under Bush it’s just gotten worse, and every day McCain sounds more like Bush, except when it comes to energy where he sounds more like Carter.

So a vote for McCain is a vote for Carter, except McCain said in response to Obama saying a vote for McCain is a vote for four more years of Bush, that a vote for Obama is a vote for four more years of the Carter, except McCain wants what Carter wanted twenty years after Carter wanted it, but McCain wants us to think Obama is Carter…I’m confused.

“Long-in-the-tooth” John and his band of radical 19^th century thinkers has proposed a Kremer like prize for the lucky American who invents a better battery for an electric car. (Let’s forget that GM had EV1’s running all over California more than ten years ago, before they, and their oil company buddies killed the car and destroyed all the prototypes.)

Now, the man who swears he is not Bush (except for on the war and taxes and torture and drilling and F.I.S.A and fake terror alerts and…) wants to find $300 million to give as a prize for electric car advances.

Never mind that Toyota alone puts about $8 billion into the same idea, and they’ve actually come up with a few good ideas already.

$300 million pays for about fifteen minutes of your war in Iraq.

$300 million would insult your pals at the oil companies.

I’m pretty sure we’re already – that’s we as in American taxpayers who are subsidizing GM and Ford and Chrysler – forking over a few bucks here and there so the geniuses that ran the American auto industry into the ground can develop better, more fuel efficient cars.

Oh, that’s right, every time a piece of legislation comes up mandating better, more fuel efficient cars, you vote against it.

Probably because those dang “au-to-mobeels” are scaring your horses.

Why don’t you campaign in that Conestoga wagon you have out back at the ranch – you could show us all how to really conserve…and you’d be helping your pals at the Conestoga wagon lobby.

DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK STUPID?

Every now and then I worry we might elect someone smart. We might put a man or woman in office who will actually say something thoughtful and intelligent.

Then I take a breath and smile because we have Senator Lindsey Graham; and if South Carolina remains its consistent, stubborn self, they’ll keep electing this rug buying dimwit, and I’ll continue to have good stuff to write about.

Lindsey’s latest foray into the land of dolts was his appearance on last Sunday’s “Meet the Press.”

He was there, shilling for Bombin’ John as usual, getting his ass kicked by Joe Biden in their mini-debate. (That isn’t to say Biden is Stephen Douglas – hell, I have a chinchilla that could out-talk Graham.)

It was during that little tête-à-tête that the South Carolina simpleton busted out this bit of brilliance when commenting on Obama:

“This guy wants to win.”

How’s that for genius?

Barack Obama wants to win the election.

Shocking!

How can anyone with a conscience vote for someone who wants to win?

Let’s vote for losers like lamebrain Lindsey Graham, who’s up for election this November; apparently he’s just running for the exercise.

Makes you feel bad for Dubya who didn’t want to win so badly he lost…so he had to be installed as president.

No sooner do I use this bit yesterday to show just how dysfunctional our political system is, than the most dysfunctional member of this dysfunctional family steps up and tells the no longer gullible American public – 69% disapproval ratings don’t lie – that $4 a gallon gas is the Democrats fault.

That’s right, Wrongway Bush blamed the Democrats for high gas prices. This is the guy who came into office when gas less than $1.50, the guy who campaign-promised to use his office to get the Saudi’s to “open the spigots,” the guy who let the oil companies write the energy policy resulting in no energy policy, the guy who killed every alternative energy bill that came his way, the guy who caused a major disruption in the oil supply with his war, and the guy who continues to be oblivious to everything – except how it’s the Democrats fault we pay so much for gas. (We’ve all forgotten the Republicans had control of Congress for twelve years, six of them with failed oil-man and failure of a president Bush.)

Granted, I’m one of only a handful of people who actually heard this as no one is listening to this boob anymore, but still, there he was, playing a full Homer Simpson.

Not to worry, Dubya, we believe you. I mean, your credibility is beyond doubt…

Such is the sage wisdom of American icon, Homer Simpson, who said the above words on many an occasion.

Well, I just heard it again as Democrats and Republicans argued about whose fault the current oil crisis is.

The only thing they agreed on is that a large part of the problem can be laid at the feet of  that great improvisational dancer, failed oil man, and current president, George W. Bush.

Everyone agreed his “no energy policy but oil” has lead to America’s particular plight, but there are certainly added pressures with emerging nations like China and India whose oil consumption is likely to go up ten to twenty times in the coming years.

Back at home:

 Dems moan Repubs block ever attempt at passing alternative energy legislation.

Repubs howl Dems don’t want nuclear or to help the oil companies drill our way out of this problem.

This is what I know; current energy policy (which has yet to be revealed to the public), was written by Drillin’ Dick Cheney and a bunch of oil guys.

Dubya and thieving pigf#$%er Ken Lay were close pals.

Jimmy Carter passed a solar energy bill way back in 1979 that would produce 20% of the nations energy by 2000 – Ronald Regan killed it in his first year in office.

I’m not choosing sides here, but facts are facts.

Not that anyone has ever paid attention to the facts.

Look, I’m the first to admit I tend to over-react now and again, and there have been times when I may have read a bit more into something than was really there and shouted the end of the world was nigh. (I’m not giving up on Bush yet, he still has until Jan 20 to bring about Armageddon, so if you have real estate in Tehran, you might want to think about selling.)

Granted, this entire political season has thrown all of us off our games a bit, and yes, I was pretty sure when the Democratic race came down to a black man and a white woman, things were getting a little weird, and when the rich white woman called the black man an “elitist,” I started looking for those four guys and their specifically colored ponies.

A black man is now the presumptive nominee for the presidency of the United States, yet, somehow, the world has not become one all cleansing conflagration, so I might have overstated things…a bit.

But now I have irrefutable proof that the end of days is right around the corner, so don’t go shopping for bottled water and Spam because I already bought it all. (Although I’m not sure how Spam can save anyone from acts of divine retribution.)

The sign that tells me the sword of Damocles is about to fall is this ad that showed up in my mailbox yesterday: “A symbolic display of devotion…THE MEN’S STERLING SILVER NAIL CROSS. Artisans have taken a symbol of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice, the nails of the cross, and fashioned them into a sterling silver cross pendant.”

The ad is on an 8”x11” piece of heavy stock, complete with return, post paid replay card, the rest of the text is a combination of salesmanship and evangelizing (yes, I know they’re the same thing.) On the whole it’s no cheesier than those mailers trying to sell you commemorative plates or NASCAR bobble-heads.

The reason the Sterling Silver Nail Cross flyer is a portent of a bad end for us all, is it came packaged in the wrapping with my monthly copy of PLAYBOY.

Yes, PLAYBOY.

I’ll give you that PLAYBOY is pretty tame, actually lame stuff these day. (I can spend 30 seconds on line and find porn that would make even the most perverted centerfold blush.) So, as the old joke goes, I really do get it for the articles.

But that’s not the point.

The point is, PLAYBOY, icon of the sexual revolution, the magazine that used to sell those dopey ‘man sign’ necklaces, is shilling for a company that wants you to spend $100 bucks on your faith. The ad is placed on top of the magazine, you see the cross before you see the cover.

So you tell me, am I over reacting, or do you want to trade me two cans of peaches for a can of Spam.

We’re close, my fellow citizens, so close. We’ve already made history. We’re up there in the 80^th percentile. Some polls have it at 81%, some 83% one even has it at 84%.

Which ever number you choose, less than two in ten are still holding out – we can turn the page America and make it unanimous.

With just a little common sense and a gentle nudge to those still unconvinced, we can get to the magic 100%, where every woman, man and child can all join hands and agree the country is going in the wrong direction under the leadership of George the Worst.

I’m not asking the impossible here.

Ol’ 43 has already shattered Nixon’s 64% disapproval rating with a 69% – that’s the biggest in Gallup Poll history. But I’m not asking 3 out of 10 folks to change their minds about Bush (put your obvious joke here).

Nothing of the sort.

I’m asking for a much simpler task; just getting those 1.6 people to actually turn off the Home Shopping Network, leave the house and take a look at the nation. They don’t even have to own a car, they can just stand in front of a gas station and watch the prices spin like a slot machine. They can even be on no-carb, gluten free diets, but ask them to go to the bread isle and watch the folks stocking it get ‘tennis elbow’ from using that pricing gun continually, hour after hour as the bread goes higher and higher.

We can do this America.

We can get to 100%.

And when we do, we can give George W. Bush the legacy he so richly deserves.

Floppin’ John McCain is working hard to scare everyone away from the gas pumps and back under their couches. He’s playing that good old Islamo-fascist rag again. Obviously, it’s not working because this morning he had to trot out legend in his own mind and owner of all things 9/11, presidential failure Rudy Giuliani.

Rudy was making the rounds on the chat shows going on about how Obama has no foreign policy experience. (Unlike the years Rudy spent immersed in international intrigue and foreign daring do – all in Brooklyn.)

Jeez, John, the last guy you want mucking up your campaign is Rudy. He’s almost as big an albatross as your new bbf, the President.

See, here’s what Giuliani brings to the table: zero credibility, indifference to the law, arrogance (not bushlike, but high quality none the less), opposition to the Constitution, (which he just calls a difference of opinion), and that tired cell phone schtick when things start to go south.

Is this really a guy you want out there on the stump?

You’ve already saddled yourself with millionaire Mormon playboy, Mitt Romney, (yes, he is Batman, but he only fights corporate injustice – where the corporations are being treated unjustly), and you and Dubya as twins separated at birth is starting to stick.

What’s next, choosing Cheney to find you a vice president, and surprise…

Get out now, John. Find yourself a nice condo in south Florida where you can walk along the beach with your lovely wife and gaze at the offshore oil wells.